Where is C?

1st June 2012

I’m standing not far from my home, on a small path that splits into 2, both routes heading uphill. There are a few other people here, all of them faceless dream characters. One of them tells me how some weird creatures come periodically to kill or take people, or something. I don’t think I ever saw them, but they seemed to be angels or something similar.

One of the other people says something to the effect of “they’re coming”, and we start to take cover by wrapping ourselves in blankets/duvets and playing dead, I guess. Lying on my back, the last thing I see before closing my eyes is a dark blue sky filled with vivid orange lights, which I assume are the angels.

They land(?) nearby and start searching the area for something. I hear one of them lean over me and look down at my face, my eyes still closed. It says something to me, but I don’t remember what. It’s voice had a weird, almost robotic quality to it, similar to the Eldar from the 40k games. They eventually leave.

Me and the others start to get out of sight by hiding in the greenery between the path’s fork. As we’re doing so, a big crowd of people arrives from down one of the hills, walking along the path away from us. We stand and watch for a while as hundreds pass by. I somehow know these are people who’ve been captured or “killed” by the angels, and that they no longer have any free will or soul. Presumably they’re heading off somewhere to be used as slaves or something. I say out loud to the others “I used to walk this way to school as a kid…” and feel a great sense of hopelessness.

Walking in the opposite direction amongst the people is an almost invisible figure, visible only by the light shimmering around it’s outline. We instantly know it’s another angel, so we quickly take cover in the greenery as it walks by.

I’m pretty certain I had a few dreams last night, but most of them almost completely elude me. All I remember from one is sitting with a bunch of people in a classroom at my old primary school. I’m fairly certain it was winter, as it might have been snowing outside. Anyway, onto more substantial recollections:

1st June 2012

I wake up in the small field behind my parents’ house. It’s just after sunset, and the whole scene is drenched in a deep blue/purple. The ground is unnaturally bumpy and hilly. I stand up and look to the east, where a thin treeline casts a solid black silhouette against the sky. At this point, I suddenly know I’m dreaming. I get the impression I’ve had this dream before, but honestly I can’t remember when or if that’s true.

Looking at the treeline, I expect to see something in the shadows, but nothing shows itself, so I start running around the field, deciding where to go. I notice one of the houses next the field has an open back door, so I start to head towards it before being stopped by some kind of glass wall. I remember that in real life, there’s a wooden fence between the houses and the field. I decide to head to the road on the western side. As I’m running along the pavement, I start to do the running-on-hands motion I seem to do a lot in my dreams. At this point, the lighting shifts to normal daytime hours.

I head west to the local shops, and there I see a few people standing around outside. They aren’t moving or talking, and in retrospect I’m pretty sure they all turned to watch me when I moved. I “remember” these people, as if I’d seen them before. As I head past I ask out loud “Why don’t you people ever move?!”

As I’m heading north past the shops, I get the sensation that I’m waking up, or that the dream is ending. I start to spin on the spot, since this apparently “grounds” you in a dream better (Though I’ve had some questionable results trying it in the past). As I spin, a weird motion blur effect transitions seamlessly to the next scene.

Now I wake up lying in a bath. Although it’s what seems to be normal-sized, I can “feel” that it’s actually very wide and pretty deep, as though I’m sleeping in a pond like some weird pseudo-Ophelia. Floating above me is a thin blue bedsheet, which seems to be functioning as the surface of the water. Light shines through the sheet and into the water, casting cool little beams of light all over the place. Although this would imply I’m fully submerged, I feel as though I’m just above the surface, with only a little water filling my mouth, breathing easily.

Pretty sure these were a couple of different dreams through the same night, but they’re all jumbled together, so whatever.

28th May 2012

I’m in my hometown, near the post office in the town center. As I cross the road towards to post office, a bunch of people I knew from school notice me and come up to say hello. They appear from all sides, and kind of slide into my field of vision before saying “hi”. I respond to them all in turn.

Now I’m back in my secondary school, one of the geography rooms, I think. The teacher tells us we have to design a flag for ourselves, drawing on some established “rules”, and make it meaningful to us in some way. After the class ends, I sit back for a minute or so doing… something. A few friends double back to see what’s up.

Now I’m in some kind of old-timey student accomodation - the room decor is largely wooden, with a big spiralling central staircase that makes me dizzy when I climb it. We’re due to leave soon, though I’m not sure where we’re going. A few people are sitting around a vending machine and messing around with a radio or something. I recognise the music playing as being the theme to Airwolf. Everyone seems to find the fact I know  it pretty hilarious.

At this point, I decide to quickly change clothes before we leave - I’m currently wearing sweatpants/jogging bottoms, and I decide I’d be better off in some jeans, since it’s really, really hot. I head up the stairs, get dizzy and stumble around a little, then head into what’s apparently my room. It seems to be a shared room, with a number of “beds” that make the whole place look like a roman triclinium.

At this point I wake up to a headache and desperate need for a glass of water. The weather’s been pretty warm these last few days (for England, anyway), but this is the first time it’s managed to affect me.

I guess most of this dream is due to me heading back home in a month or so, now that uni’s done with. No idea what I’m going to do now - probably save for a while and go travelling or something.

Oh man, been a while since I last posted. I’ve spent the last month or so first getting into overdrive for my final assignments at uni, and then winding down and doing squat for a few weeks. Time for an update, methinks.

15th May 2012

I’m walking along a road not far from my home. There’s nobody around, and no cars either, so I’m walking up the middle of the road. I’m reminded of a dream I had some weeks back which involved me taking the bus around my hometown, before later realising it wasn’t taking me where I wanted to go, instead just going in a circle.

I arrive at a friend’s house, only to find he isn’t in, but that he’ll be back soon. I decide wait inside for him. After a while of this, I decide to give him a call. Once I’ve started to ring him, however, I suddenly realised I’ve doomed him; Apparently some weird supervillain has captured him now that I’ve revealed his phone number, and my phone instead show an image of him trapped in a very red-looking room somewhere.

At this point I’m woken up by my flatmate’s impressively bassy sound system.

Decided to take a nap today. Happening a lot recently.

14th March 2012

I’m at some kind of sciencey research building, high in the mountains. The place is brightly lit, and most of the walls are a vivid orange. In the room I’m in, there are scores of old 60s-looking computers, like in old spy movies. I’m using one of them to write music like i do at the labs at uni, so it’s safe to say this place is a weird version of them. There’s someone else in there with me - a stereotypical scientist-looking guy, with receding hairline and thick glasses.

At some point I walk over to the open window and look outside. There’s a cold breeze that chills my face. At this point I recall a conversation had by 4 people in a film, talking about how 3 of the people are aliens, and have to destroy Earth, or something.

Since we’re up so high I can clearly see the stars. I lean out the window and look to the right, and see a red and green nebula that looks like a man riding a horse, if you turn your head on it’s side. I say to myself “Wow, it really does look like a horse”. Looking down and forward I see a smooth slope that goes back down the mountain, and get a compelling urge to jump out the window and slide back down.

I look back inside and see the scientist looking at me disapprovingly, so I step down from the window and go back inside. I go back to the computer I was on and back up my work. While it’s doing that, I get a weird feeling that what I’m doing is risky and not-allowed; that is, being in the building in the first place isn’t allowed. The scientist agrees not to rat me out provided I stay out of the way. Before I leave, I suddenly become aware of an adventure game-style UI “over” the dream. I’m given the option ask the scientist about getting 2 camera lenses. I look down at my music, which is now on an old cassette, and I catch a snippet of a dreamy-sounding song sung by a woman. The lyrics are something about mirrors, or glass.

At this point, the building I’m in decides now’s a good time to test the fire alarms, which makes me very grumpy since I could’ve memorised that music given enough time, possibly making a gajillion dollars, or something.

Another nap, another confusing journey. I should probably stop labelling these posts as “Nightmares” since they’re never really outright scary, just incredibly cluttered and… dense. Although I guess the sense of confusion and delirium counts for something. To be fair, I’m fairly certain I saw this one coming when I got into bed. State of mind and all that.

I’m outside the block of flats I live in, with my dad’s old car parked beside me, and I’m piling up stuff ready to load it into the boot/trunk. At some point I start looking for something, and as I rummage through the stuff the wind picks up, blowing things around and away from me. I push the car out of the way, and it moves easily as though it’s really light. Another gust of wind sends a load of things floating down the road, and I scramble after them.

I’m “returning” back from somewhere with my flatmate. As we head inside, we catch a “glimpse” of an elusive 3rd flatmate who’s not where he’s supposed to be. I don’t actually see him, or the room he’s in, but he’s “lying down” in the room with a grand piano and a wall-to-ceiling glass window. My flatmate sits down on a small chair in a corner, surrounded by brown bookcases. He says I don’t look very well, and that I might’ve caught something. I respond with something, but I’m not sure what: most likely something to the effect of “I don’t feel too good, I know that.”

I’m on a bus with a couple of friends from school. We’re arriving at a fancy estate in the country that I seem ti remember from somewhere, but I’m not sure. Everyone’s joking around, and I butt in, saying something like “This sounds retarded, but where are we going again? I don’t remember what’s going on”. Everyone just laughs, and I follow them off the bus and down a gravel road through a garden. As I walk, I start to “remember” why we’re there; to play some sort of weird sport inside the building. One of my old PE teachers is talking to us as we throw on some team bibs.

Now I’m in my room. I think. There are a few other people, none of whom I recognise. I sit on the bed and try to figure out what the hell’s going on. Someone to my left hands me a phone, and I hold it up to my ear, but don’t hear anything. The guy point out it’s a text message conversation. I start to read the conversation in reverse chronological order, but find I’m answering the other guy’s questions before he asks them, which confuses the hell out of us both.

At this point I open my eyes and find myself lying in bed. In the gap where I see above the covers, I see a sort of skeletal face appear and quickly dissipate into a swirl of smoke.

Now I’m in some sort of bathroom, and there’s someone else who I don’t look directly at; I think it’s my mum. I look into the mirror on the opposite wall and realise the face being reflected isn’t mine. This annoys me, and I start cleaning the mirror with my hands to get a better look. I also start to turn on the room’s lights with just my thoughts, but this stops working after 2 or 3 times.

My alarm goes off, and I wake up horribly confused.

Such a cool word.

22nd February 2012

I’m sitting with one of my old teachers from back in Primary/Elementary school. I’m pretty sure we’re in one of my old classrooms, with a bookshelf to our right, and our chairs facing each other. Although I’m not certain, I seem to recall everything being a weird shade of blue/purple, like it was the dead of night.

As we’re talking, I mention that I’ve come to ask about some music that was played during one of her classes years ago. The class itself was apparently about dinosaurs, possibly -  something involving prehistory, at any rate - and I describe the music with words like “mysterious, primordial, unsettling” and she rummages through a stack of CDs on the shelf.

I have a good idea of what the music was supposed to sound like: a mix of unconventional tonality and sparseness that gives a weird unsettling feeling that always makes me think of witnessing “the beginning of all things” or something equally mysterious.

For reference, it probably sounds like these. NGE does well for mysterious music:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kvsyIWWrmMk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eye3Biwn0l4

The whole concept of abiogenesis, or life arising from non-living matter boggles my little plebeian brain. I should probably read into it sometime, since it’s a really interesting topic, but I find myself part of the “I should read more, but life’s too short” generation. There’s all sorts of stuff I want to look into that I never do. I should make a list or something before I inevitably forget it all.

Finally, a simpler and less thought-provoking dream:

I’m walking around a road intersection with my dad and brother. We’ve apparently stayed the night somewhere else, and I’ve somehow forgotten to take my shoes with me; I look down and realise I’m barefoot.

8th February 2012

I’m walking along a country road, carrying a small bag of some kind. I’m stark naked, but don’t seem particularly bothered about it. After a while, I reach a 3-way junction on the side of a hill. Some cars are approaching from all directions, so I opt to get out of the way and climb up the grass, since there’s no footpath.

At this point I realise the incline’s way steeper than I realised, and the ground is pretty mushy. My feet start to sink and I get bogged down the more I try.

Some police cars have shown up, presumably hearing reports of some mental guy walking about naked in the middle of winter. The policemen don’t seem overly confrontational, which puts me at ease. They politely ask a few questions about what the hell I think I’m doing.

I start to explain that I’m delivering some shopping to my Nan’s house. She lives in a village not far from my parent’s. As I’m talking, I realise my tongue feels swollen, and I can’t talk properly. The dream ends mid-conversation.

Another nap, another weird dream. My sleep pattern’s gone mental again. Possibly taking myself along with it.

3rd February 2012

I’m looking in a wall-mounted mirror in a dimly lit room. The walls are a turquoise-y colour. My hair’s slightly longer than what is currently is IRL, and I’m wearing some sort of white sleeveless jacket over a stripey shirt. There’s some weird voice-over sounding guy, but it’s more of a voice in my head than a physical sound. It makes some snide comment about how I look like a girl or something, and I respond with a joking remark to the effect of “Bitch, I am fabulous”.

I leave the room and find myself in the stairwell of my uni residence. There are 2 other people - a male and a female. I don’t remember what they looked like, but they were dressed sort of grungy hipster-ish and were just chilling out, leaning against the walls and not really doing anything. At some point I realise I’ve been standing around as well, and say out loud “Wait, what am I doing here?” and start hopping over the railings to get downstairs quicker.

When I get there, I’m in some sort of weird olde english-style building, washed in the same turquoise light as the mirror room. It looks like it could be an inn, if it weren’t for the catwalk-like structures hanging from the roof. The catwalks’ support struts are all warped and twisted, and I propel myself along by lifting myself up by my arms and swinging between the struts.

At this point a weird little tune started to play in my head, a snippet of which I managed to recall and write down shortly after waking up. It’s sort of a lilting, atonal ditty played on pizzicato strings. I might have to use it at some point in the future. I look out one of the windows, and though I *allegedly” recognise the view, It’s not where I’m “supposed” to be, and I don’t know how I got here.

Finally, I’m on the ground floor. I walk into one room, and see it’s populated by 5-6 beds, and leave, not wanting to wake anyone. I walk into the next room, which has it’s furniture laid out like the living room at my parents’ place. There are several people sitting in the armchairs and on the sofa, my parents included. I assume they’re all asleep for some reason, and go to leave.

Before I do, I notice a girl sat on the sofa, but slumped fowards over the coffee table, with her face looking to one side. She sort of looks like Wednesday Addams. She opens her eyes to look at me and they give off a vivid silvery light. I look up and realise everyone else is now awake, and my dad asks me what happened last night. I tell him I don’t have a clue, and I don’t know how I got here. My alarm goes off, and I wake up.

As I said, I managed to write down part of the music that was “playing”, which I think is a first, despite a few attempts to jot down music I’d heard in dreams before. Just as I’ve been writing this post, I’ve realised the rhythm of it is quite similar to the Addams Family theme. I’m not sure if the music caused the character to appear, or the other way round, though. The subconscious is weird.

It’s been a while since I last updated. Uni’s getting pretty crazy (the awesome kind) so it’s to be expected I guess. Here’s something from a (large) nap I just had.

13th January 2012 - 15:00-19:30

I wake up at my uni flat, head outside my room and into where my kitchen should be. My computer’s there, and I sit down and either watch or play some Starcraft II. After a while I wonder where everyone else is, so I stand up and head back into the corridor. As I do so, my dad comes in the front door carrying a huge box.

He says he’s brought some potatoes, which is something he’d likely say since he and I are pretty much the only people in the family who seems to enjoy a good spud for dinner anymore. He sets the box down and carries a few into the kitchen, presumably to start cooking.

I look into the box a little closer and recoil at the smell. The box is divided into compartments, and while one of them has nice-looking specimins, the other are full of rotting and decaying ones. My dad hears my groan from the kitchen, and says that he’s keeping them to try out some kind of additive to preserve or cure them of something.

Now things get a little hazy in terms of continuity. Summed up briefly, we’ll assume my dad takes me on a Journey of the Imagination like some potato-based Carl Sagan, and we end up on a ship of some kind in a stormy sea. My dad points to the bow of the ship, which has the zoroastrian symbol, the Faravahar. However, it’s slightly different in that there are claws at the bottom a la the Roman aquila, and behind the wings are… potatoes. Yeah.

At some point all this stupid dream logic makes sense in my mind, and I say something akin to “Oh yeah, doesn’t this belief focus on fertility of land and crops? When you die, you go to a fertile field of potatoes.” I look around and see other ships like the one we’re standing on; a whole fleet. I look ahead and see stormy clouds, with flashes of blue lightning.

Apologies to any Zoroastrianists out there; I’m sure some hipsters have taken up the mantle at some point.